Greetings, 2012.
You bring my daughter’s birthday. January 1st, you have changed my life for ever, and each year will start with a celebration of the day that my daughter came into my life. Happy birthday, lovely Liv. I hope you enjoyed your early birthday party with your cousins, and your birthday morning nap, right now. Let’s play when you wake up.
Love you, Dad.
It has been a lovely Christmas, with sunny weather, milkshakes, beaches, and paddling pools. Although the weather has broken down today, Liv has had a lovely time clambering all over me and hanging out with her cousins from Central Otago. We have been skyping regularly back to London for her to see her grandparents and her cousin and Aunt visiting over from Greece, but it is hard at Liiv’s age – almost 1 – and with mobile broadband connections at both ends of the planet. The latency is something to behold. And miss my folks too. No matter how lovely the weather, I don’t think I will ever get used to a summer Christmas – and I don’t really want to either. There is something quite brilliant about marking the shortest day with Christmas. And I love small, dark, cosy pubs, smelling of wet wool and amber ale. I miss that and my friends and family.
Nevertheless, it is great to have some time off with family here. More on reflections on the year later today or tomorrow.
The weekend was good – not only was it Kate’s birthday, but we managed to spend the weekend not worried about selling a house or looking for a new place to live (so I can stop this long commute). Nevertheless, I was on the train this morning to get to Wellington. Four more days to go, and quite a lot to get through. Looking forward to doing other things for a couple of weeks, like getting gently back into some regular running again. Fingers crossed for decent weather.
The last three days of last week were phenomenal. We have had our house in Northland, Wellington on the market for the past month or so. We hadn’t had a serious call about it through the estate agent, until last Wednesday at about 2pm. I was on my way to see another house that we were possibly interested in buying after we managed to sell the one that we had (tenanted right now).
The agent told me about the offer. It wasn’t what we wanted but it was close to good enough. With the current economic climate, potential public sector job losses in Wellington, and us down to one income on a 1-year contract, I was keen to reduce our exposure to risk and to downsize to something more sustainable. Don’t get me wrong the Northland house is a good house – 3 bedroom early 1900s villa, re-piled, insulation, DVS and central heating. It would just cost too much for us in terms of a mortgage, and wouldn’t give us any wiggle room if our costs started rising, as the mortgage costs alone would take up over 50% of our income, excluding rates, bills etc.
By 5pm, after some calls between Kate and I – she was in Waikanae Beach taking Liv to her first Creche visit there, and I was in Wellington – the house was sold. It turns out the sister of the person who we bought it from 2 years ago was the new buyer. I thought I recognised the name, so I asked the agent to check.
In the meantime, I had seen a smaller house that I liked and thought would suit our circumstances well. It would also enable me to walk to work and to rule out my currently very long commute. The problem was that I was leaving to work in Christchurch that night. So, Kate and I talked on the phone again, and she managed to squeeze in a look at the property during her trip to Wellington the following day. I had seen a fair few properties over the past month but had only asked Kate to view 3 that I thought worth making our short shortlist (we ended up putting in offers on two of them).
Kate liked it, so when I returned to Wellington from Christchurch on Friday, e started the process of making an offer for the new house. Long story short, we got news that we were successful – after some negotiating – at 7pm on Friday.
A very surreal, quite stressful three days. But the relief we felt anat having sold our place outweighs the joy of finding anew place, for now. The tenants at the Northland place were being slightly awkward about letting people through to view the house. I understand that they were planning to put in a low offer too. Interesting way to make friends and influence people. The house will be sold on 15 February, the day after their lease expires. And, if all goes well with builder reports etc, we take possession of the new place on 29 February.
What a weight off. I think I will now float through Xmas.
Today is the first work day for about a month where I have not been rushed off my feet. Factor in being a Dad and a husband, striving to be a good son, brother and Uncle, trying to buy a house, sell a house, viewing houses, getting a mortgage, traveling, writing, reading, commuting, and I’m feeling ready for the 2 week Xmas break. Though it will be fun, it also promises to be a busy time. So, I will need to make sure I am looking after myself next year. In fact, my Head of School has already had a friendly word in my ear about “not breaking the Sarb”.
I’ve not been to the gym anywhere near as much as I would like, have barely been running – which I have really, really missed – and have had one completely rained off game of cricket.
On Saturday night, I watched a documentary on the Foo Fighters, and I was positively mesmerized. I loved it. It reminded me of times gone by, hanging out with friends in Cardiff. I remember the day Nevermind by Nirvana came out. It was the one and only time I not only had a reservation at the local record store for it, but I queued up to get it too. I was that excited by it. I had seen Kurt Cobain give a mind-blowing performance on The Word, after I came home from the pub on a Friday night. I didn’t realize it, but I had stopped talking to someone mid-word as soon as the guitar riff broke into the drum pattern hammered out by Dave Grohl. The riff itself was enough the get my attention. The drum pattern seized me by the balls and gave them a good squeeze. I DJ’d it out in a club that night. Similar reactions from the crowd. History changed. I went to ScoochPooch records in Seattle. Bought some more stuff. Loved it. DJ’d for 6 years, hung out with punks, completely widened my perspective.
I miss music. I miss what it brought out in me, what it connected me to, and continued to do in my early NZ years.
I love my work, and it does engage a creative side in me when I am looking at data and trying to think how to express it so that others will get it. It engages a creative side of me when I work clinically and respond dynamically to help people find solutions to their dilemmas, or at least to accept the feelings the dilemmas provoke, and to move on. But I haven’t worked clinically for a wee while. Conversations in China have inspired me to start again, even if in limited ways, once our living circumstances are sorted out.
Creative outlet. I crave it, as if I have only just become aware of my own need again. My rational self dominates at the moment. Except when I play with Liv. Then, I have permission to be stupid, to experiment with faces, to hold her upside down, to spin myself around. To see the world through her eyes.
I was kindly invited to sit in on parts of a workshop on resilience today. Some of the conversations on flow, engagement and coherence made me thing. I feel flow, I am engaged. But the field is narrow. I am wider than that. Work is good. Being a grown-up is good, but I want to play some more. And that is better than ok.
On the plane back to New Zealand, I’m reflecting on the latest instalment of work away from My Wellington base: another trip to Beijing to represent New Zealand at a Chinese Government sponsored symposium on post-disaster psychosocial care. For the last 3 days, Chinese and international representatives – USA, Russia, Japan, Laos, South Korea, Cambodia, Indonesia, NZ and Australia – have been sharing experiences, ideas, and data about practices and organisational challenges in providing care for affected communities in various stages of response and recovery after disaster events. I was lucky enough to have been sent to represent New Zealand interests and experiences in this field.
I was honoured with time to present some of the preparatory psychosocial work I did in New Zealand, as well as Chairing the final session on the last day where the Chinese participants presented. This last session was a particular highIight for me. There is some really interesting and excellent work going on in China, and it was a real privilege to hear about it. I hope that as well as the obvious political drivers that emerged during the meeting, something comes from the symposium in terms of perhaps a special issue in a journal, or an edited collection of papers.
That the Chinese Goverment has decided to get involved in the disaster area, in terms of policy, research and practice is interesting. It is a relatively non-political issue in the region that the Chinese can bring great resources to bear upon the numerous disasters that occur. Diplomatically speaking, I think that this is an extension of the soft power that China is seeking to project, which conveniently takes space from other conversations that could be going on, eg issues in the South China Sea. Nevertheless, some interesting, thoughtful, sensitive and effective work is happening in China, for example in Chengdu and Yushu. I’m glad to have been able to take part in the symposium, and make new contacts there and across the region.
If anything, I would like to have seen more discussion time and chances to interact in a less didactic way with our Chinese hosts. For complex, mainly political reasons as I understand them, the presentations were quite formal and designed to fit a particular purpose. There weren’t enough for Chinese public health leads from the provinces to get simultaneous translation of the English presentations, and I know that I probably spoke too fast for those who were not quite proficient in English. I’d forgotten how tiring it can be to hear two languages all day long. Even if you are not required to understand it, because an English translation is to follow, seletively standing and then non-attending takes work, and after a few hours, can get quite exhausting. Still, a commendable achievement and a platform for current sharing. I hope it fulfils it’s potential and I will work to see that it does.
I don’t do premium economy. Until now. Let me explain. The last few long haul flights for me on Air New Zealand have been excellent, and I have had chats with the flight service managers. They noted that I was not ‘one of their frequent flyers’ but had my Star Gold with another programme In the Star Alliance. I should explain that flying enough to get Gold status means a few things, including being able to check in through the business class desk even when flying economy (shorter queues), extra luggage allowance, and being able to use the airline lounges (think food, drink and Internet) while waiting for your plane, as well as other nice things like being able to board the plane with business class passengers.
Even though Gold members of all Star Alliance member airlines are supposed to get uniform benefits, the individual airlines tend to throw a few extra benefits in for their own ilk. So, bmi have a great spending programme for all those miles I have accrued and it is relatively easy to qualify as a Gold tier member: you don’t have to fly as many miles as other airlines. Air New Zealand have a great programme but it is harder to qualify, and I would have to start from scratch.
The flight service managers suggested I give Air New Zealand a call and supply them with proof of my status and they might, just might, match my status for me so I can start to accrue points with them. It makes sense for Air New Zealand too, because they would rather see me as a loyal customer, locked into their programme and choosing to fly with them rather than their competitors. To my pleasant surprise, Air New Zealand got back in touch with me in 4 days and gave me an immediate tier match. Now the great thing is that Gold status in the Airpoints programme means two single class upgrades. Hence me in premium economy. Well, it was a busy plane, and I am traveling long haul on my own. Who knows when I will get the opportunity to use this?
I’m not exactly overwhelmed. The food has been ok so far, but I am in the middle seat in a row of three, with silent blokes on either side of me. We are elbow jockeying every now and again. The service has been warm and friendly though, and the usual high standard. Packed plane throughout though on a Saturday night, so I’m glad I used the upgrade. Not sure if I will on the way back though, as it is a midweek flight and the loads in economy may be lighter.
It’s odd traveling when the NZ general election count had just started to reveal the picture of the next Parliament and the shape of the next Government. The final configuration was still to be revealed, and it was marginal as to whether National was going to be able to govern alone, or may have to look for a coalition partner.
What was abundantly clear though was the massive haemorrhage that the Labour vote had suffered, losing numbers to both the Greens and NZ First. It really wasn’t pretty. And with David Cunliffe in a close race for his electorate seat with Tim Groser and Andrew Little getting spanked in New Plymouth, it isn’t all that clear what will happen in the wash-up when Goff inevitably goes. Personally, I’d give a serious look to Grant Robertson, but he doesn’t have a whole heap of front bench experience. To my mind, the Labour front bench looks dangerously thin right now. Maybe they could persuade Simon Power to change codes and come back in 3 years.
What will be strange and frustrating will be arriving in China this a few hours, where ubiquitous Internet is a dream, and news about New Zealand is as rare as an Ai WeiWei fan in the Chinese Communist Party. I hope to get some news when I get to the hotel and check into my room. But, knowing China, that might not be until the afternoon after the election, NZ time.
UPDATE: Found out what happened. Wondered why I bothered…
As I sit in Auckland airport waiting for another flight to Beijing, I am following the election results rolling in on twitter. It has been a weird campaign, which has seen John Key twiddling his thumbs and refuse to engage in eye contact with the leader of the opposition during a televised debate just days before the election. Seriously. Head down, twiddling his thumbs. ACTUALLY twiddling. And the electorate look like they are going to vote him in. I may be wrong. I hope so.
An interesting thing happened while I was chatting to the mechanics in the bike shop in Beijing. When answering their question via Google Translate on what I was doing in China and what I did for work, I said that I was a psychologist. I’m not sure what Google translated that as, but both the mechanics looked at each other, and then looked at me with their hands on their chests, indicating that they understood that I worked on the heart, as in emotions. What was interesting was a complete lack of mention of the mind in the subsequent albeit limited conversation. Psychology was a matter of emotion and the heart.
I wonder what that would mean for clinical practice? I know that he partner of one of the staff at the NZ embassy in Beijing is a clinical psychologist who practices in China. Next time I am there – at the end of this month – it would be interesting to have a conversation with him about it.
Today is the 5th year anniversary of Air New Zealand flying to Chinese, so champagne all round for all passengers today, in all classes of the plane. the staff of Air New Zealand have been playing a blinder as far as I am concerned on recent flights: Debby Lemon in particular – kudos to you. The flight service coordinators have been so uniformly friendly and go out of their way to deliver excellent customer service. It is such a cliché, but it is true that every time I step on one of their international flights, I feel like I am already home, and that goes for 99.9% of the rest of the staff too.
I got to my seat today, and I found a set of noise reducing headphones waiting for me. Although I have my own, it is a nice touch for a Star Alliance Gold passenger. The flight service coordinator came to say hi and that they recognised me from a previous international flight. Not for the the first time, they suggested I may want to consider transferring from bmi to the Air New Zealand frequent flyer scheme, and they may try to investigate crediting my status so I don’t lose any of the frequent flyer benefits that I have already accrued through bmi. I’d certainly consider it, given the amount of flying I might be doing in my new job. Actually, though Air NZ Gold Elite passengers get pretty nice perks about their regular Gold level of status, I don’t think I’ll be flying quite that much. I’ll leave that to my Director.
I am more than ready to go home – by about two days overstay, I think. I am missing Liv and Kate a lot, and Liv seems so grown up on Skype now – when I could get it to work from being the Great Chinese Firewall. The impact of the firewall is profound, I think. Chinese get a sanitised view of the rest of the world deemed fit for their consumption, and are also presented a structured view of life withing their own borders and region. This is noticeable especially in the realm of social networking, where Chinese nationals in China are effectively stopped from making personal connections with others outside Chinese borders, thus controlling the flow and exchange of information about lives and how they are lived – banal information or otherwise. I even had to register my passport details to use this wifi connection at the airport – required of me by Ministry of Public Orders number 33 and 82.
I have met some very friendly Chinese people during my stay here, for example, strangers helping me with change for the subway ticket machine, even though I speak no Mandarin, and they no English, and also non-Chinese who have gone out of their way to help me out. Yet somehow, I was left with the distinct impression that I am a commodity – a westerner with money that should be spent. Of course, this is to be expected in markets etc, but I was surprised at how many times I got propositioned for sex – also a commodity for some – during this week long stay. On the street, on the subway, and even a call direct to my hotel room at 0030. I shudder to think how that happened – how they got my number, or randomly phoning hotel room – who knows?
Anyway – leaving for home soon – back later this month for what promises to be a very interesting meeting.
After a bit of a wash-out day yesterday getting hopelessly lost in deepest Beijing where I had no gadgetry working or guidebook to hand, today is much better. I managed to find a Dahon shop a few blocks away, where some really nice guys almost sold me a Dream (or HAT 660). However, I took a test ride on a Speed which got me to thinking about their test bikes. I had a look at a Boardwalk too, but a Vitesse caught my eye. This model was 5 years old, but was a really nice ride, and pretty light in aluminium at about 11.5kgs. Just perfect for my commute at either end of the Waikanae Beach to Wellington train ride (where folding bikes are allowed on the peak hour trains, but regular bikes are not).
The guys at the shop tricked it out and changed the front tyre too. It was fun chatting to them through Google Translate on the net while we got everything serviced and sorted. I think I was there for a good two hours. I got a bag for the bike, pump, front light, lock and bottle cage thrown into the deal for 1500 yuan – which I think was pretty reasonable. I think it is a Dahon Vitesse D7. The gearing is sweet – granny-ish enough to get me up the hills I’ll need to negotiate in Wellington, and big enough to go at a reasonable lick on the flat. It sure was fun riding it back to the hotel through the Beijing traffic 
Feels much nippier and more responsive that my steely Brompton back in London, and a fun acceleration too. Felt much quicker and more stable too – must be the 20″ wheels.
I had a letter published in the NZ Journal of Medicine today on the Rena incident. I’ll post that and about the conference another time.
I’m not sure how much I am giving away any kind of secret here, but I was wondering why so many people in the 20-something generation here in Beijing in cafes etc seemed to have keyboard Kindles. Well, I had a hunch that a 3G version might somehow not be subject to the great Chinese Firewall, and they might use them to access Facebook, so I got back to the hotel and gave it a shot. And what do you know, it worked. And Twitter too.
There’s a turn up. And a tip.
Staying pretty close to the Olympic Stadium – The Bird’s Nest. Not that I can see it much. The air in Beijing today must be like the pea-soupers of old in London. We arrived in what looked like fog before dawn. It hasn’t shifted much and it is yellow and it smells. The problem isn’t exaggerated. It is horrendous.
I am not running out there until it has rained good and heavy. Don’t want to breathe that stuff in too deeply at all.
This is an older 777-200ER, so not one of the flashier planes in the Air New Zealand stable these days. I hear they are having some trouble with relatively low loads on this route, so I’m not surprised they are low down on the refit list. Having said that, the service is great, as usual.
I am flying in economy, but have a row of three to myself on a 13 hour night flight. I am watching a couple of movies to pass the time on the better than average movie on demand entertainment system. The flight service coordinator has come to say hi and given me some noise reducing headphones and acknowledged my Star Gold status – something I haven’t experienced with Air New Zealand too much of late, so that was a nice surprise. Mind you, when the staff on Air New Zealand go out of their way for you, they really go out of their way. One most excellent member of staff – Debby Lemon – has made my life far more pleasant on two occasions: once when I was pretty sick just before getting on a LA – Auckland, and another time by messaging staff before the flights that Kate, Liv and I took from London to Wellington.
So, three hours into the flight, and so far so good, with passable salmon for dinner too. Another movie and some reading of the Beijing Lonely Planet on my iPad awaits.
7 hours later: Got some good shut eye, but not before a good chat with Lisa, the Flight Service Coordinator for NZ287. Lovely woman, and a thorough credit to Air New Zealand having been with the organisation for 28 years, working in pretty much all areas of the business.
I have been back in New Zealand for about a month now. The journey was ok until LA. But at that point, Liv’s body clock starting going astray, and therefore so did ours. I will gloss over details, but the flight from LA to Auckland was a nightmare and I only got about 10 minutes sleep for the whole 13 hour flight. Kate didn’t get much more than me. Poor little Liv slept for each landing and take off, but on landing finally in Wellington, she was the most tried and upset I have ever seen her.
After sleeping for about 36 hours apart from short breaks to eat and play, Liv was something like her usual self, but it took a good 2-3 weeks for her eating to settle down. Her sleeping through the night still isn’t great though her daytime napping is more regular again. We are still struggling with a 1-2pm wake up, and I am having to go to another room at that point, as I have to work now and coy mute too, so it is important that I am pretty sharp. Starting a new job is always quite testing, and I need to stay on my toes.
We are staying out at Waikanae Beach at Kate’s family bach (read holiday home), which is a good hour’s drive from Wellington where I work, and that is after the peak time traffic has died down. I also try to do a bus-train-bust public transport commute, but it takes a good while longer. In fact, it has taken about 2.5 hours on some evenings, which isn’t what I want at all.
I’ll talk about my job another time, but it is busy, busy, busy. I was presenting at a conference in Brisbane some 72 hours after arriving back in New Zealand, and I am off to Beijing for a week tomorrow. There is a high likelihood that I will be back in Beijing back at the end of November too. After that, things should calm down a little but there is always travel in this job, especially to Christchurch. I have been there Once so far since I have got back. Again, this deserves it’s own post.
So, we are back. We will apply for Liv’s New Zealand citizenship when I am not traveling in December. Kate is glad to be back. We have a car. I am enjoying my new job, although it is rather precarious in terms of contract length at the moment : something to work on. But all in all, all is well..
I am not at work today. I got home past 3am after attempting to pick up my sister and nephew at the airport. They were flying in from Greece to spend some time with my parents in London. The weather on the drive to and from the airport was awful. Rain and fog.
It was uneventful until we were 5 minutes away from our destination. I was joining the M4 from the M25 and I was carefully only doing 40mph as we rounded the slip road bend. I tried to merge into the slow lane. The car span out of control. The car turned sideways and slid along. I couldn’t control it. We crashed into the barrier on the right hand side, rear first. We were spat out back across the motorway. The impact threw my glasses from my face and I could hear my 6 month old nephew Alex scream from his carefully strapped car seat and my sister yell. I thought we were going to get hit by another car as we careered across the lanes. For a split second, I thought we were going to die. I have never thought this before, realistically. This felt very real. It still does. I am getting flashbacks and getting upset. They will calm down. And so will I.
I righted the car to face the direction we were supposed to be going in. We sideswiped the barrier on the hard shoulder. I was disoriented and hit the accelerator. The car revved for a split second. I hit the brake. We came to a standstill. We quickly checked we were ok. I couldn’t find my glasses. I couldn’t call an ambulance. We left the car and I told Simi and Alex to get on the shoulder. We flagged down a passing car. I found my glasses and called for police and an ambulance. The ambulance took 75 mins to arrive after some patch argument over whose responsibility we were. I swore we had been hit by another car. So did Simi. But the rear view mirror was clear the split second before the accident. I know. I checked.
The police investigated and took me through what happened and showed me the impact on the barriers. There was no other car. The car span out of control as we hit a white line. It was greasy and we skidded. I am thankful we were going no quicker than 40mph. We could have died. We were lucky not to.
Simi is ok, Alex is ok. They were both checked out in hospital. Eventually. I am still in shock.
I am not at work today.
Are we in June already? How did that happen. My daughter Liv is now 5 months old, and we are starting to think about leaving London to base ourselves in NZ again. So, lots of things to finish off at work as well as sorting out rental arrangements and finances at both ends of the planet. We also need to firm up an exit date. It already looks like I will be pretty busy when I arrive in NZ with possible work trips to both Australia and China within the first few weeks. And for the first few months, I’ll be taking a commute to Wellington from up the coast in Waikanae. And in the meantime, we do the regular thing here – getting Liv some new nappies, and visiting the grandparents tomorrow. Liv and life tick on.
I’ll be changing the topline to this blog, as we’ll be moving back to NZ in September this year. The opportunities and quality of life on offer are better for us there at the moment, so it makes sense for now. If that wasn’t exciting enough, I had my birthday earlier this week, and along it that comes my customary review. I have decided that becoming a Personal Trainer is not only something that I am interested in, but I think would be a unique selling point for my private practice when I return to NZ. It looks like a pretty intense course – which I am doing mainly using a distance-learning online format, but with some live assessments and eClasses too. Looks v interesting though and is already outstripping my existing knowledge of anatomy. Hopefully, will be done my September – I finish work at the Department of Health on August 12, so will be able to devote a few more hours to it then.
